Under the weather and gunky

To say the least, I ain't feeling well at the mo, which has made me rather unproductive, which is a pain in the arse considering my epic to do list, I just don't have the energy or sufficient attention span to get anything done. I'm hoping Enya can heal these faults for me, how I love that lady.

Questions

Really not happy with the title so any suggestions welcome.

Questions

What is all this
All this existing we do
What does it mean
Why am I me
Why was I not born you

And will we ever perceive
Or remotely understand
The point of humankind
Why were we divided
Woman and Man

As days blend and hope fades
Like a dying breed
And we sink to new levels of
Depravity and greed
No difference these days
Who’s right
What’s considered wrong
How can chemicals
Fuel emotions so strong
If we’re all born with no souls
Not meant to move on

How can we progress to a greater path
When will the eternity end
When will we rest
When will we finally be at peace
Laying down all arms
Letting all feuds cease

If this is the only chance that we get
Live it and love
However you believe is best
And remember that one day
You will end and leave this behind
For the rest of us survive
In your wake

State of Mind

State of mind

After all it’s just a state of mind
A malleable affliction
Conflicted inside
Aren’t we all restricted some way

Don’t we all feel confined
And reach to the depths of the mind
To release answers beyond our reach
So what does it matter either way
If I’m infatuated with gothic ends
They will subdue to a dismal grey

Thriving in insanity an odd comfort
It sets you free
Allowing breath easily as
All thoughts cease
With new eyes you see

All that is left unperceived
All that is shunned
All that’s diseased

You take note and empathise
With strangers
Recognise their plight
And truly understand
Their state of mind
Even if it’s beyond
Your life

That’s not the point
All it is, is listening
And listening’s free

This minor affliction
Minor mental illness
Gives so much more
Than you can see
So much more that
These words I do not need
To show you the things you’ll
Never see
An invisible word to you
In which I am set free.

Returns

Returns

I recognise that it’s not a great feeling
That need to self-destruct for no good reason
But it’s all I can think of to do

What else can be done
When the head’s
Letting you go
And leading you into
The shadows once again

And I must admit
I rather like it
Feeling psychotic
And I can’t help smiling
With all probability
I’m losing my mind
To the illusions of fantasy
Shaping clouds in the sky

As the clouds project a
Dismal future
Maybe this is just the final overture
Before the end comes to pass.

Eyes of a Child

Eyes of a child

Looking into the eyes of a child
Reflecting back shades of the past
Photo’s say all
And you can’t help but smile
Looking into the eyes of a child

Wearing a police man’s costume
Thumb up in salute
Rather cute
I suppose but if you
Look into the eyes of child
See a glimmer of fear
With one panda eye

Flick through and find a
Child sat on a stool
Legs black and blue
But she’s smiling at you
In pain restrained
Can’t find the words to say
Or articulate the pain

Remember those days
When she danced and played
Quiet and shy
Always something to hide
You can see that truth
In the eyes of a child

Looking now you can’t avoid
The eyes of the child
All the secrets they tell
If you’re willing to see.

Alive in the Mind

Alive in the mind

I can see the hurt in your gaze
In the corner I crouch crying alone
No one hears me or cares
My reflection is hate, heart of no home
I’m reaching for more than I deserve
They misunderstand me and digress
Taken hold of my soul burning to hell
I’m drained, aimless

Like dawn approaching, I squint eyes tight
Blind overwhelmed, but no strength to fight
Living rich in memories bring a twinge of a smile
Absent from present, alive in the mind

And I’m persevering to love you less
As it starves me and I come undone
I’m weak without defence
Loving you ain’t no fun
And it’s hard to move on
When you’re looking like that
So radiant effortless, I slip
Loving you more, I’m lost and trapped

Like dawn approaching, I squint eyes tight
Blind overwhelmed, but no strength to fight
Living rich in memories bring a twinge of a smile
Absent from present, alive in the mind

I watch you walk around with others
I smile a courteous bitter smirk
I’ll watch you rise through the ranks
As I wallow in the dirt
Jealous with no right
Shrinking back in to my dark roots
But nothing it seems
Can distract me from you

Like dawn approaching, I squint eyes tight
Blind overwhelmed, but no strength to fight
Living rich in memories bring a twinge of a smile
Absent from present, alive in the mind

Raining Flames

Raining Flames

It’s raining flames again
As we fight on through the din
In my dreams you persist
And you’re saving my skin
What is this, change of heart
Stroking my head through my hat
Fingers at neck and I smile
You are always on my mind

But dreams are dreams
Flames rain on and they fall
To sparks bounce and regain
All the beauty you exude
Radiating grace

Beautiful baby different
These days
Yet so beautiful darling
I would follow you for years
For the sake of love, insanity
I’m leaving you behind
Don’t want to know your life
Too much already disclosed

But dreams are dreams
Flames rain on and they fall
To sparks bounce and regain
All the beauty you exude
Radiating grace

It’s raining flames again
Dreams haunt all the same
See your face partial in crowds
Nervous glances my way
Checking I’m observing the
Unspoken rules
You know what it’s like
The love of a fool

But dreams are dreams
Flames rain on and they fall
To sparks bounce and regain
All the beauty you exude
Radiating grace

See the fear in your eyes
As I approach you hide
I brush past in haste
So not to prolong pain
Can’t tape it back
Together again
And I’ve lost all hope
Relying on dreams

But dreams are dreams
Flames rain on and they fall
To sparks bounce and regain
All the beauty you exude
Radiating grace